The following emails were exchanged in early Nov 2018, and I think both Salvin and (in particular) the very nice-sounding widow emerge from it with great credit. Today, of course, nobody bats an eyelid about such liaisons, but at that time she must have had the greatest fortitude to bring the daughter up herself in the face of intense social disapproval.
It's such a great shame that the daughter didn't get to inherit Coomhola.
Dear Robin,
I have discovered your Orna Verum site and related information regarding the Salvin Bowlby family.
I have started to research my grandfather Adelbert Charles Salvin Bowlby who was my mother's father.
She was born in 1933 after my grandmother had an affair with him.
My mother never met or knew him, but has always wanted to know more about him and his life.
She does have one photo of him [...]
I knew some of the information and that he is buried in Bantry Bay, but the revelations about his son were something of a shock!
I assume the Salvin Bowlby's are part of your family too and we may be distantly related?? If so, I would welcome the opportunity to correspond and find out what more you know.
Regards,
[...]
Dear [...]
Thank you for your fascinating emails - a great surprise in themselves, of course, and also so particularly personal regarding your mother and yourself.
Salvin was already at least 80 at the time I would first have encountered him, but as a probationary boyfriend (at that time) of the Kaulback's daughter Sonia (we married in 1967), I played a pretty minor role in social encounters with the the elders of the Anglo-Irish contingent in the social life of Bantry and its surrounds. Insofar as I could tell, he was a fairly typical retired middle-ranking army officer, pleasant in a gruff sort of way. I don't think he got out and about much by that time, and he probably didn't approve of the social changes of the 1960's that he would have read about in The Times.
But he might well have been a handsome and debonair chap in his earlier or middle years, and evidently your grandmother thought so! He was in his mid-forties then, of course, married for over 20 years, one ne'er-do-well son, and romance beckoned... Society was much stricter then, and as a JP in Middlesex in 1933 (as thepeerage website says) divorce would have been out of the question. I'm acting as Devil's Advocate of course, but he might also have been an amoral Lothario!
I hope he at least made proper financial arrangements for [your mother's] upbringing and education. You don't mention your grandmother's marital status at the time, but I can well imagine that her life became pretty complicated by all this.
Salvin was evidently an honorary avuncular figure (though reputedly NSIT) in Kaulback family life in post-war Bantry - he used to allow Sonia and her younger sister Susie to pick raspberries from his garden, and taught Audrey the arts of fly-fishing (at which she became expert). He (without Frances, crippled by arthritis), always spent Christmas day with the Kaulback family in Ardnagashel, but his sole extravagance in return was invariably to present Ron with a pair of socks! Despite this he does seem to have been reasonably affluent, and drove a Jaguar saloon-car, the first ever seen in Bantry in those days.
This is all fairly insubstantial, but I hope it's helpful. I won't put anything about it on the website, unless of course approved by your mother and yourself. Of course, "Natural daughter, b 1933" would be a nod in the direction of historical accuracy, but without further detail.
With v best wishes,
Robin.
Dear Robin,
Thank you so much for your e-mail and memories of Salvin.
My gran was a widow and mother of four when my mother was born. She had been married to a man of some wealth and social standing and I think Salvin was part of their social circle before her husband died.
I think my gran loved him very much and she must have been very strong to have kept my mum in such circumstances.
Salvin did apparently send regular financial contributions, but my mother has no memories of him.
Sadly, her mother died in 1950 when my mum was only 17.
It's so sad they never had a chance to meet, especially given the circumstances regarding his son.
We have been told that the housekeeper who inherited Coomhola set fire to it and went to England after Salvin died, would you know if that's true?
My mother has a photo taken of her as a very small child sitting outside a house which she believes is a house in Ireland. Her mother took her to Ireland in the 30's and she wonders if it was Coomhola.
Kind regards,
[...]